I've tried #XMPP. fail. (nobody else in my circle wanted to use it)
I tried #Matrix. fail. (nodbody else in my circle wanted to use it)
I tried #Signal. fail. (won't work without google services)
I tried #Tox. fail. (half the time messages just don't get delivered)
Not sure where to next, but if you find something, let me know ;)
WhatsApp has the main community, but even with the privacy advertisement, it's really questionable.
And Signal, it's cool and paladin of privacy, but again, you will need to use GPS to work properly, not cool (and less safe).
That's how I see this problem.